Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
