Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
