Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you inspire me to be a worse person
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
