I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
