How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
