WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
