He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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