"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
