dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
