come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
