I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
try to milk me bitch
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
