giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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