So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
