Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
