therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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