How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize