i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
