Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
