On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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