so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
