Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
