im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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