OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
