he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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