you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
