Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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