Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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