Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
