Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My dick has a subreddit
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
