what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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