So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
