I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
