I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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