I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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