I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize