i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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