The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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