so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
