apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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