She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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