Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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