he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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