Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
