Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize