Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
don't judge my taste in strippers
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize