That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
