I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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