You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
