Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
