Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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