And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
