Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
