Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
