I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
