I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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