So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize