If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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