so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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