Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize