It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
