You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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