Im at strip club and am horny
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
