talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
