My first STD was from a foam party
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
