I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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