Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
