Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
