i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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