The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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