butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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