I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
