Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize