His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
