i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize