Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
