It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
