Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
